While running, if you stumble upon two rooster lookin-like birds (that can fly…?), expect to see roadkill in the vicinity. And expect to see them feasting on said roadkill when you pass them. Bahhhh gross me out the window!
Then, expect to jump 80 feet in the air and squeal like a 10 year old girl at a Taylor Swift concert (jealous) while flapping your arms as you try to erase the image now permanently etched in your brain.
If you’re running around a golf course, expect to have a group of elderly men give you strange looks after said squeal. Although, let’s be real, it’s probably the stench coming from your shirt that’s the reason for their looks.
If you’re gonna run the same 2.2 mile loop 5 times (!!), expect to pass said murder scene, well, 5 times.
If you’re gonna run in stinky clothes, spray some perfume in your pits before you leave the house.
However, if you’re gonna run on trash day, you can save the perfume.
Be thankful you can’t smell through the computer screen right now.
If it’s an absolutely gorgeous spring-like day (55* F and sunny!) and you’re gonna run after 2 days off and you’re gonna wear your lucky marathon shirt, expect to set a PDR!!
11 miles!! Yeah, that’s a first. Just ask my left butt cheek.
If you’re gonna run that far at 9:07 min/mi, expect to have secret dreams of running a sub 2 hour half marathon someday.
…until you realize you would have 2.1 more miles to run. The real kicker is when you remember you stopped to walk for ~6 minutes throughout the run. Aw rats. A runner can dream, right? I think I can I think I can.
If you had no idea you would run that far and didn’t bring fuel along with you (oops!), expect to hit a wall at the 10.3 mile mark right as you’re running against the wind…and then expect to feel like you’re going to keel over. Come get me, flying roosters!
If you’re smart, save Sobe Lifewater with coconut water for days when you need fuel just to sit down and stretch! Need sugar/calories/fuel STAT.
I received this box from Sobe awhile ago to review. I broke into one bottle, but decided to save the other two for a day when I’d really need calories in liquid form.
I guzzled this down immediately after walking in the door. It was delicious, better than the regular Lifewater varieties (and that’s saying something). As a huge coconut fan, I’d prefer a stronger coconut flavor. As a huge coconut water fan, I’d prefer more than 10% coconut water. I liked it, though, and would definitely buy it myself.
All I cared about at that very moment was the fact that it was easy to stomach post-run.
If you’re gonna go on a long run, make sure your ice maker is full so you can take an ice bath afterwards.
Don’t forget to wear a sweatshirt! Brrrrrr
If you’re a lightweight and plan on hydrating with brewskis at a happy hour, expect it to be a very happy happy hour.
If you’re afraid to go to bed because you think you’ll wake up too sore to move, have a little faith in your legs.
I woke up with ZERO pain in my legs. I wasn’t even slightly sore. It felt like I didn’t even run! Craziness yo. Thank you, Spider-man tights.
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