This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. For the last year I have been reading books that emphasize the importance of treating your body right; not banning any foods from your diet because in the end, it will just drive you eat those very foods. Have you ever denied yourself something ‘bad’ and then when you finally got your hands on it, you went off the deep end? As if you would never see that food ever again and you had to get it all in at that very instant? For the majority of my young adult life, I’ve had a ‘bad foods’ list with all the classic items that you can expect–cake, cookies, chips, pasta, la la la. Then again, with the multi-billion dollar diet industry it’s pretty difficult not to have one.
A couple of years ago, I deprived myself of virtually everything and as a result, I started to crave virtually everything. I was also exercising excessively at the time so my body was wanting and I was not giving. When I finally did give in i.e. when I went back home for breaks, I would eat to no end. It got to a point where I could not trust myself to be in the same room as a box of cereal without finishing it. Furthermore, I could not trust myself to eat what I truly wanted.
In Geneen Roth’s book Breaking Free from Emotional Eating, she tells the story of a time when she decided to eat whatever she wanted…at all times of the day. So what did she eat? Chocolate chip cookies. For 2 weeks straight all she ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner was chocolate chip cookies. What happened? By the 15th day she never wanted to see a chocolate chip cookie again. She began to eat whatever she wanted and gained 15 pounds in 6 months. She figured she had lost and gained so much weight already that this experiment couldn’t possible hurt her too much. In turn, by allowing herself to eat ‘bad’ foods whenever she wanted, they were no longer tempting. In the following 2 years, she lost 30 pounds.
For the last year or so I’ve been [for the most part] allowing myself to eat what I want–within reason. If I see something I want such as carrot cake, I get it, and I enjoy every morsel (a slice…not the whole cake!). I know that if I deny myself what I truly want, I will simply eat other foods instead. Eventually, I will eat the food that I wanted in the first place and wish I had done so from the very beginning.
But lately I’ve been wondering, am I being kind to myself or am I indulging and being too kind to myself to the point that I will keep gaining weight as a result? Where do you draw the line between learning to trust yourself and being unhealthy? For example, the other day I saw a Mini Loaf Nutty Carrot Bread and even though I knew I could walk away from it, I didn’t want to feel like I was depriving myself if I did. I didn’t want it to lead to a future carrot cake fest. So I bought it and ate it, no guilt. Will I eventually stop wanting though? I cannot possibly give in to all my wants at all times!
I don’t think I can possibly give in 100% like Geneen did. At least not now. I think I’m on the right track though. I eat an abundance of fruits and vegetables everyday as well as whole grains and dairy. I have definitely found that by allowing myself foods that I love i.e. you-know-what I feel less deprived and overall have less cravings. It definitely helps that I crave healthy foods for the most part!
What are your thoughts on this? Where do you draw the line, if you do at all? Do you give into your wants every time? If not, do you then feel deprived later?
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Before Ashtanga Yoga, I had a Kashi Trail Mix Bar and a Green Monster (same ingredients as yesterday).
I also prepped dinner: My very own Goat cheese Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms (I made it up today on the spot!)
I put 1 oz. of goat cheese, 1/2 cup of thawed frozen spinach, 1/8 cup of dry oats, 1 TBSP of Greek yogurt, and a smidge of water in my Magic Bullet. I poured the ‘batter’ into the Portobello mushroom and topped it with goat cheese crumbles and chopped peppers. I left it in the fridge until I got home when I popped it in the oven at 350 degrees F for about 15-20 min. See below for the after pic!
Ashtanga yoga was just alright. The instructor was okay. I’m used to (and prefer) more talkative instructors that explain what you’re doing and why. I also like when they talk about the mind/body connection. I’m not sure I’ll be going to this class every week. We shall see.
We had a first day of school kick-off party outside. Our school spends ridiculous amounts of money on celebrations and festivities….precious money that I could be going to my tuition!
The first 800 students got this ultra snazzy ceramic stein mug. I guess I didn’t have to get my sunflower mug after all : /
They had hot dogs (which I can’t stomach…blegh), ice cream, veggie burgers, soft pretzels and veggies! Oh and free beer. I had a plate of veggies, a bite of a soft pretzel and 2 bites of a veggie burger (it was strange tasting).
I didn’t eat too much because I wanted to go to Body Tone tonight. Well?? I got my bootay kicked to the curb! Holy moly! It was intense. She was crazy. I loved it! Think Jillian Michaels but a teensy bit nicer and less intimidating. It was sort of boot camp style. We did so many cardio spurts that had my heart rate shooting through the roof! I went to her class once at the end of last semester so I kinda knew what I was getting myself into….
I’m going to wake up SORE that’s for sure. I hope my legs can still handle spin tomorrow w/ my favorite instructor.
Dinner was my ’shrooms and a side salad w/ tomatoes, red onions, and roasted eggplant. I also added 1/2 of an Ezekiel wrap for some carb action.
Close up of the sauce inside:
After dinner I had some unphotographed eats (it was URGENT…I needed replenishment!):
-1/2 banana w/ Dark Chocolate Almond Spread
-1/2 cup of TJs Tart Frozen Yogurt with mango and strawberries JUST like yesterday.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I wrote above or whatever you want to write about 
My classes start at 8:30 AM tomorrow (!!!!!). Good night!
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
holy amazing stuffed mushrooms, like. woah. holy yum. and yep yuck to the hot dogs! as far as the first part goes~i don’t support banning foods from my diet. when i am trying to lose some weight~like now~i eat 100% clean 6 days a week and then on saturday i have whatever treats and eats i have been craving. as it turns out, when saturday rolls around i think about the time on tuesday that i wanted that donut at work or about the greasy nachos after the bar one night midweek.. and i realize i don’t even want those!! and i am always so glad i didnt eat them. and then i eat a bunch of ice cream and cereal and call it good
I think I am probably too extreme in my stance on desserts. I just don’t eat them, unless it’s my birthday or Christmas (which happen to be within 24 hours of each other). However, I don’t really feel deprived either, so I’m not sure how I should address the situation. Suggestions?
Jealous that you got a beer stein…I didn’t get one! I agree that our dear old Duke spends SO MUCH $$ on random celebrations.
I go through those thoughts all the time. Am I allowing myself enough treats? How much is too much? I know for sure that I don’t want to go all the way like Geneen as well, because I still want to keep my body nourished, but I also want to have a healthier relationship with food.
Currently, I indulge when I go out to eat, I’m with friends, there’s a homemade good I really want to eat, and when I’m having a major craving. If I could pass it up I will. Not sure if this is the best approach, but that’s what I do! Also, I try to eat small bites of it, and not the whole thing.
The stuffed mushrooms you made look amazing…and I don’t even like mushrooms
I loved this post! I think what you said is SPOT ON…a lot of times why diets fail is because people restrict themselves too much…Come on, we only have one life, so why not live a little? That said, I don’t think we should indulge EVERYTIME…because then it WON’T be an indulgence anymore and the joy of an occasional treat is lost. So eat mindfully, but when you allow yourself the treat, enjoy it the best you can with NO guilt!
By the way, you just gotta say “goat cheese” and I’m ALL ears! Or eyes! Anyhoo, looks FABULOUS my girl!
p.s. I have my ONLY class tomorrow at 12:30! xp Don’t hate!
I’ve noticed that if I am craving something I’ll save myself a lot of hassle if I just have a little bit of whatever it is. Otherwise I eat a bunch of other stuff that I don’t truly want
Good luck on your first day!! What a fun kick off party- LOVE the mug
In terms of indulgences- I really try to live by an everything in moderation philosophy. Does this mean I cake cake and cookies every day? No, but I do try to enjoy a nice treat maybe a time or two a week. I also try to really only enjoy indulgences that I LOVE LOVE vs. ones that I think are OK. So I don’t eat cake just because its treat time, I wait for an ice cream or frozen yogurt flavor I really like
great topic girl~~ I think all of us ask this question many times? And the answer really depends on person and the stage of life that you’re. When I was trying to lose weight like 9-10 years ago, I definitely didn’t allow me to do indulgence too often… because it was too risky to even have a bite of the “forbidden” food because I knew I had no will power to put it down after just few bites. And that worked for me by then. But nowadays, I don’t want to lose weight anymore, my main focus have moved to be healthy and feel good. So indulgence happen all the time and I don’t restrict myself when I want to have a very fatty chocolate mousse (as you can see from my blog). Doing that also let me to listen to my body more. What I find that after days of eating high fat/high sugar meals… my body crave simple food, tons of veggies and fruits. So I gave it and at the end all balance out and I feel great without deprivation.
okay. this is a long answer. But great topic… and I’m glad you’re where you’re…. be kind to you doesn’t mean to eat unhealthy food, but to eat what your body really need.
I’m drooling over those mushrooms! I’m amazed that you can make such a great meal while away at college.
I don’t indulge every time I want to. I usually save it for one or two times on the weekend and that’s what works best for me. I usually go out Saturday nights and will eat whatever I want. It keeps me sane and I don’t feel guilty because I’ve eaten good, whole foods all week long. We all deserve a break now and then
Great post! I think that if you continue to listen to what your body wants eventually those intense desires or cravings will go away. “Breaking Free” is a great book. The more we listen to our bodies, the better off we’ll be in the long run. The number on the scale may fluctuate a bit but overall body satisfaction, health and wellbeing is much more important. Let’s wish us all luck on this journey towards body acceptance-everyone needs a little help and support! I tend to give into my wants most of the time, and can go overboard sometimes, but I try to take each day as it comes!
Have a great tuesday!
Sounds like you had a great day! Love the stuffed shrooms…
I would have to agree that the second I label a food item off limits, it’s all I want. Other than chocolate, I’m pretty good at walking away from most unhealthy foods, but I do still find my hand in the sugary cereal box more often than I’d like! I so wish I was one of these people that really don’t worry about what they eat and when. Life would be much simpler!
WOW! Those mushrooms look aaaamazing!
As far as indulgences go–at this point I really don’t deprive myself of anything. I used to and the same thing happened to me, if I got may hands on something, it’d be gone! Now if I have what some would call a “treat” I might modify it or the portion size a bit but never not have what I’m craving.
Good luck on your first day of classes! You’re already in class right now so I hope it’s going well
As far at the eating question – I went to a workshop this spring that was about mindful living and making peace with your body. The instructor (a former binge eater as well) talked about Beckoners vs. Hummers. A beckoner is a food or situation where you see it or hear someone talk about it or smell it and think “Oo! A cookie (insert food of choice here.) I’m going to eat that.” A hummer is something you’ve been craving or thinking about over a longer period of time, like a really delicious ice cream flavor from your favorite store or the Indian food I’ve been craving for three weeks! I try to keep this in mind when I’m indulging or eating outside of the clean eating spectrum.
I totally feel you on the trusting yourself issue. I have had bouts with binge eating since I can remember but it feels really good to make progress towards trusting and listening to your body! Congrats on all your successes!
I was on Weight Watchers for years & years, only recently I think I’ve come into a good relationship with food. I’m not restricting anything, but I KNOW that if I eat any kind of white bread or pasta, I will feel like a load of crap afterwards. I’ll eat regular pie or cake as long as it’s a SPECIAL situation, not just because.
You’ve to have a good balance–80% healthy foods, 20% not-so-healthy foods!! So if you’re only getting the carrot cake every once in awhile, not every single day, I’d say that’s a good balance!!
I think that one of my strengths in life has been knowing when to stop. (And I’ve been blessed with an awesome metabolism!) I’ve never told myself I couldn’t have something because it was “off limits” nor have I ever tried to lose weight. While maybe not the healthiest, I eat ice cream almost every night. If I’m out somewhere and see something tasty that I want to eat, I try it. But I also eat well portioned, healthy meals, which I always have done. Do I overeat sometimes? Yes. Do I indulge too much sometimes? Probably. (But it tastes oh so good!) Does it phase me? Only for a few hours while that “full” feeling lingers, but then I get over it. Between running and my natural metabolism, I’m pretty lucky in that I don’t have to pay tons of attention to what I eat in order to maintain weight. (Being healthy is another thing, but I do good with that most of the time!) It’s hard for me to imagine having to pay attention to what you eat and telling yourself to stop since it’s just so natural for me.
Duke sounds a lot like Princeton (where my boyfriend is in grad school) in how it treats its students…the number of activities/free stuff that the school has is insane!
Again, so jealous of all your fitness classes. I’ll have to experience them through you instead.
About indulgences, that’s still something I’m trying to work on. While I do eat healthily, I still have cravings for sweets and pastries. 100% agree on not restricting any food but keeping in mind to eat treats in moderation. It’s always best to remind myself that that piece of chocolate isn’t the last one and when I do eat it, I enjoy it and not feel guilty about it.
i have to say i pretty much indulge any true cravings. i’ve been through the deprivation cycle (though nothing extreme) and i’m finally at a place where i know i CAN have whatever whenever, so i don’t crave things all the time. sometimes i will not eat something because i know it will make me feel too full — not because i am worried about weight gain. does that make sense?
in general i enjoy desserts and things several nights/week (in addition to dark chocolate on other nights) + copious amounts of peanut or almond butter in the AM. i also tend to eat more when eating out or celebrating something. my size has been relatively constant for a long time. i chalk that up to being active and listening to my body at least most of the time!
This is a great post. I can completely relate to putting food off limits. I try not to do it anymore and it truly has changed my life. I am slowly starting to trust myself with food again. It’s an amazing feeling!
This is such an awesome post!!!! I always am asking myself the same questions. How much is too much? I think for me, if I can tell my pants are getting snug, I know it is time to reel it in a bit. I use that as my measure if I am over indulging too much. As long as my pants are fitting, I figure I am good with what I am doing, lol.
This is something I think about a lot- finding a balanace and also trying to differentiate between what is “healthy” and what is “disordered”. It’s hard to figure out where my thoughts come from- ie, am I not eating a piece of cake because I genuinely don’t want it or is it because I am scared of the effect it might have on my body? I guess figuring out the reasons behind wanting V NOT wanting is the biggest part of it. If you are sure there is not an emotional tie behind wanting/not wanting, and it’s more your mind/body saying “hey- that looks good, i want to try it” then I think it’s good to tune in to that voice. I really agree with Geneen’s thinking that your body WILL tell you what it wants and needs if you let it. I am not ready to go all-out with an experiment like that (I think I’d fall flat on my face and restricting side would run rampage at this point) but I really agree that if you gave yourself permission to eat whatever you wanted and ate nothing but cookies…after a while, your body would start asking for variety to get it’s needs met. Life’s too short to not eat dessert, and bodies need a huge variety of foods. So do minds, social occasions…and I am rambling and really not answering your question! gah. i’ll come back in a couple of years when I have personal experience to draw from
Your dinner looks so good! I am jealous of your central campus kitchen.
In response to your question, I don’t restrict anything. I care about what I eat, but I don’t put too much thought into it. I try to like how I look, but I don’t let it define me. I don’t even consider treats as treats, per se — to me, theyu are just like any other food item. I eat lots of different kinds of foods, and among them are foods people might call “treats”
(but then again, that would be IDEAL. I’m not perfect in that either)
I have completely learned to listen to my body. Like right now, I know I need to EAT MORE because I am running lots and walking to and from work, and that eating more needs to include fun snacks and treats that are physically and mentally satisfying. But the large majority of my eating is good healthy stuff, so it balances out. Love the Flour photo! I would know those cupcakes anywhere!
I agree with you that when I really deprived myself, I just make up for it later with something else.
I think that I need to work on stronger willpower in general, but I am ok at drawing the line of ‘I really don’t need that and that’s not deprivation’, if you know what I mean/
Great post Allie! And your shrooms look awesome!
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